As a slow-pitch softball pitcher, what is one to do when the team gets down 12-0, none of the players behind you are in the right position, and they are making errors every time they have a chance to get an out?

Give up? No. Pitch more meatballs? Yes.

Last night, I pitched the first game of Pink Sox softball in the third week of play. To say it was an ugly night of softball is the biggest overstatement I can muster.

We were down 23-0 after the first inning, and we never recovered.

There were a lot of complaints about not having a limit on home runs. My teammates said that this team shouldn't be in this league. And they responded to the 23-0 start with by going down 1-2-3 in their half of the first.

Like I said: Ugly. We are the Minnesota Twins sans steroids.

The bad guys ended up scoring a handful more runs, and the good guys made a handful more errors on easy-to-catch balls and easy-to-make plays. I was embarrassed.

I got my first at-bat in the second inning -- my hit was a hard grounder between the shortstop and third baseman. A lazy outfielder helped me stretch it into a double. 

In my second at-bat, with a runner on first and third, I hit into a fielder's-choice, second-to-home double play.

We scored six runs in the game. Blah!

We faced a knuckleballer in the second game, and my team was stymied again. I drove in the first of our three runs with a sacrifice fly.

I played second base, let five balls get past me, tagged a guy out at second, and threw a guy out at home.

We lost by the 10-run rule.

After the game, there were few compliments. My darling wife only mentioned my lack of range in the field, not my hitting prowess. Not the impression I wanted to leave.