A dying child's only moments are photographed by non-profit organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, which exists to assist families suffering an early infant loss. Parents of critically ill or stillborn babies are provided with heirloom portraits of their children. (Photo by Amy Zellmer)

Mary Sasa of the Shakopee Valley News reports:

Tiny hands and feet are only there for mom and dad to hold for a moment. Sometimes parents know they'll never see their child breathe. Now is the only time they have.

When Shakopee photographer Amy Zellmer first volunteered to work with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDTS), a nonprofit organization that provides families with heirloom portraits of their deceased infants, she was anxious about her first appointment at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis.

"I'm sure I was shaking," Zellmer said. "I wasn't quite sure what I was getting into. But I left there feeling so good. I knew that I gave them a really incredible gift."

Minnesota's NILMDTS coordinator Heather Lombardo said there are about 30 photographers in the Twin Cities area and more than 2,000 nationwide.

Photographers do it for different reasons. Maybe they've lost a child. Maybe they've had a friend or family member lose one.

For Zellmer, it was that she could.

Taking portraits of deceased babies and their families is no easy task, but Zellmer feels she can reach out in a positive way to grieving families with the time and service she volunteers.

"I went into it very hesitant," she said. "I knew I wanted to do it, but I was apprehensive. I didn't know what to expect."

When she first arrived in the hospital room at Abbott, the mother met her with a hug and a "thank you." That put her at ease.

"The professional in me immediately took over," she said. "I was there and I had a job to do."

The child had died from trisomy, a chromosome disorder, a couple minutes after it was born and Zellmer arrived within an hour to assist the family.

"The parents were so happy I was there to take pictures," she said. "They wanted pictures of everyone with the baby."

So Zellmer went to work, capturing the precious moments. Grandma holding the baby. Uncle holding the baby. Mother and father embracing each other and their child. The chaplain came in later, and Zellmer took pictures of the baptism.

"There is lots of tears and sobbing, but a lot of love," Zellmer said. "I got kinda teary-eyed. I remember the mom and dad saying, 'Oh, she's totally perfect.'"

The service with NILMDTS is free. All families get a CD of images and a DVD slideshow. People even donate baby clothes to the organization to dress the infants so the photos won't be so shocking.

Zellmer has helped three families so far, her latest being at St. Francis Regional Medical Center in Shakopee. The family at St. Francis was skeptical, but Zellmer told the nurse to encourage them to get the photos taken. They did, and were later grateful. 

"They don't have to look at the photos right away, but someday they'll be glad they did it," she said.

Started in 2005 to help families heal, NILMDTS was organized by Colorado residents Cheryl Haggard and Sandy Puc'. After Haggard and her husband decided to take their 6-day-old baby off life support, they wanted to remember him through photographs. Puc' was the photographer who came in to take photos before and after the child was taken off the respirator. The experience filled Haggard with peace and pride, and both women were moved into founding a project that supports grieving parents.

Twin Cities coordinator Heather Lombardo said the organization is growing quickly.
"In the long-term process of grieving, often that's all the parents will have left. That, and their fading memories," Lombardo, who is also a photographer, said.

Lombardo said the organization served 91 families in the Twin Cities last year and she did more than 50 of those herself. Serving about nine hospitals in the metro area, including St. Francis, NILMDTS is in need of photographers.

"It's the most important work I've ever done," she said. "It also helps document the life of the baby, to make it real. The baby was here and there was a life lost. Being able to show that to family members and friends is important."

Mary Sasa is a staff writer for the p. She can be reached at msasa@swpub.com.

THIS IS FOR AN INFO BOX ON THE JUMP

For more information or to volunteer, call Amy Zellmer at (952) 233-2169 or Heather Lombardo at (651) 329-5363. Musicians who are able to donate music for slideshow presentations or those willing to donate baby items, such as bonnets or booties, are also needed.