Jordan Independent - funny - Comments

That would be good. The

Tom Schardin — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:57:58 -0500

That would be good.

The Packers-Bears rivalry is certainly one of the top-5 in all sports.

The Michigan-Ohio State football game has to be in there too - probably No. 2 all-time.

Others long-time greats: Giants-Dodgers, Army-Navy, UNC-Duke, Cal-Stanford, Cowboys-Redskins, Cubs-Cards, N.Dame-USC, Lakers-Celtics, Nicklaus-Palmer, Bjorg-McEnroe, Frazier-Ali, M-Leafs-Canadians, Auburn-Alabama, Texas-Oklahoma ....

Anyone else have any?

The whole thing got me

Brandon — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:41:30 -0500

The whole thing got me thinking about what other great animal-related sports rivalry stories are out there waiting to happen. Here’s what I would love to see happen:

A meat packer is taking a hike through the woods on a long camping trip. Even though he’s been away from work for days, he still smells like raw meat (he’s been working at this meat plant for a long time, see). Well, off in the woods there’s a bear who smells raw meat walking through the woods. The bear rushes toward the packer, who is forced to rely on whatever stray parts from his backpack that he can rely on to defend himself. It all works out in the end, though, because while the bear is big and mean, it’s really only good at defending itself and has absolutely no ability when trying to take the offensive. The packer, meanwhile, does is merely OK on both offense and defense, but benefits from the lack of any actual competition on the Bear’s part.

Eventually the packer figures things out and gets the bear off of him. He makes a mad dash toward his car but trips in the parking lot. Somewhere in the distance, a Norwegian man cries because he's not strong or smart enough to compete with either the packer or the bear.

That would be a great story, but it would be even better if the guy made it to his car and retired, er, drove out of the park on top.

This is a great story. I'm

Tom Schardin — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:24:13 -0500

This is a great story. I'm glad the girl is OK.

It just goes to show you the Yanks-Red Sox rivalry is the best in all of sports. There is no equal.

Well, the guys on ESPN this

Brandon — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:48:22 -0500

Well, the guys on ESPN this morning said her nickname was A-Rod, so that's what I'm going with.

Her nickname isn't A-Rod,

Mathias Baden — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:32:21 -0500

Her nickname isn't A-Rod, really, is it? I mean, I'd call her that if I was in her class, but the story doesn't actually say so. Do you know her???

The lead of the story is funny. To the effect of "Another A-Rod gets a negative reception in Fenway Park ..." The writer just couldn't resist.

(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)

Bill Maher is way funny, so

Tom Schardin — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:53:20 -0500

Bill Maher is way funny, so is Jon Stewart.

"Seinfeld" always cracks me up, but my wife not so much. She prefers "Ugly Betty."

I like the way you summed up

Mathias Baden — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:01:23 -0500

I like the way you summed up your tastes in regard to Steve Martin.

My darling wife and I happened to have had a short discussion on the same topic last night. We worked out on the elliptical while watching "The Family Guy," which she loves.

"I can see why you like that show so much," I said.

"No, you don't," she said.

"How do you know?" I retorted.

I'm trying a few new things lately, such as buying my wife "Blue Harvest," a "The Family Guy" knockoff of "Star Wars." In the past, I would've shunned such a purchase, but I figure I might like it if I try it.

By the way, at the library today, I checked out season three of "Futurama." I've never seen it. Tonight's the night.

(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)

I'm sure your little sister

Mathias Baden — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:01:36 -0600

I'm sure your little sister would appreciate you voicing those stories to the world via the Internet. Ha! Next time she gets Googled, all the dirty laundry shows up.

(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)

Today ... maybe. But she was

Ruth Anne Maddox — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:06:35 -0600

Today ... maybe. But she was only about 12 and a non-swimmer at the time.

You are a better sibling

Brandon — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:22:28 -0600

You are a better sibling than I – I probably would have let my sister go into the lake and then made sure she was alright.

I've never been much of a

Ruth Anne Maddox — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 13:21:46 -0600

I've never been much of a sleepwalker (I prefer to remain in bed and dream crazy dreams) but my little sister has done some unconscious wandering.

Once, when we were kids, she mistook my parents' room for the bathroom, pull out a dresser drawer and sat down to do her business.

Another time, we were camping and I was awakened by the sound of the RV door closing. I looked outside before jumping from my bunk in time to stop her from walking off the end of the pier.

I miss "Thundercats,"

Mathias Baden — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:59:14 -0600

I miss "Thundercats," "Transformers," "Gobots," "He-Man," and -- to be honest -- "Gummy Bears."

"Twilight Zone" also has a piece of that special place in my heart reserved for TV shows from back in the day.

You've got to love "Cheers," "I Love Lucy," and "The Cosby Show." What about "Different Strokes?" How about "Taxi" -- have you tried that one?

(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)

I’m going to see

Brandon — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:05:04 -0500

I’m going to see “Bourne” next week, and I’m pretty excited about it. I don’t think I could stand sitting that close to the screen if the movie is anywhere near as fast-paced as the first two. I’d probably get motion sick.

"Hot Rod" sounds fun. I'm

Mathias Baden — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 13:03:03 -0500

"Hot Rod" sounds fun. I'm going to see it. I also went to "Bourne Ultimatum" on Saturday -- awesome!

(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)

Of course you're most

bhall09 — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 12:47:54 -0500

Of course you're most anticipated movie would be about a guy on a moped.

I was actually able to take in Bourne Ultimatum -- I don't get to movies as much as I use to since I became a sports reporter and had a kid. But we got a sitter, and had to go to the 9:50 showing at Eden Prairie on Saturday. First off, I can't even believe I was out that late and wasn't working (I know, I know, that really isn't that late). But the theater was packed for that 10 p.m show. We were there a half-hour before and we were still stuck sitting in the second row to the left, having to look straight up at the screen.

That said, it was a thoroughly enjoyable movie. I am a big fan of the other two, and this followed right along. Very good movie, that I recommend seeing in the theaters, just make sure to get there early.

I was so close to the screen, my eyes couldn't focus fast enough in the quick-moving race or fight scenes. But that didn't hamper my enjoyment.

(Brian Hall is the Sports Editor for the Jordan Independent and Shakopee Valley News, and can be reached at bhall@swpub.com.)