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May 11, 2008, 11:01 pm
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Man, I feel old
May 6, 2008 - 10:30am — Mathias Baden
Man, I feel old. I never remember my dreams unless they are really good, really bad, or important enough to tell someone. So that's why I'm telling you about this one. One day last week, I woke up excited about an exceptional interest rate that I got. That makes me feel old, because interest rates really do lack excitement, even more so for a young person. Other things that I've realized that make me feel old: - Four years ago, I messed up my checkbook to the tune of having an extra $1,000. My only purchase: a lawnmower. - I'm as tall and heavy as at least half of the Minnesota Twins. I'm older than almost all of them. - Last Sunday, my darling wife and I, along with a dear friend and her dog, went on the MS Walk, which benefits the Multiple Sclerosis Society. They complained of aches and pains. I was pain free and went to play basketball seven hours after our 6-1/2-mile walk. Today, I'm paying the price -- I have soreness in my back, neck, and left foot, and the tops of my thighs are burning. |
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Many days, I creak and crack...
Back to page topMany days, I creak and crack as I stand up from my office chair and say, "Oh, I think I'm 100 years old today." (I'm not even halfway there).
I have unexplained ankle pain (sometimes) and occasional arthritic pains in various joints. I don't know why old people don't complain more often.
Speaking of feeling old: When I worked at a newspaper in Indiana and gathered the court news, I would feel old when I saw tickets being issued to new drivers (16-year-olds) who were born the year I graduated high school.
As time went on, I noticed that people being arrested for drunk driving (21-year-olds) were born the year I graduated high school.
Soon, people getting married, having babies, etc. were born the year I graduated high school. Then kids I used to babysit were getting married and having babies. Some of my high school classmates have grandchildren!!
Oh yeah, then there's my co-worker in the adjacent cubicle from me. Yep. She was born the year I graduated high school. Whippersnapper!
Realizing that I was older...
Back to page topRealizing that I was older than some of my favorite sports stars was a pretty crushing moment for my youthful spirit, too.
It’s better to look at the ways in which you’re still young, though. For instance, I still feel young because I watch cartoons, because I love to ride my bike downhill, and because I will always think it funny when someone says the word “duty.”
I feel young when I go into...
Back to page topI feel young when I go into candy store and use this age-old, never-fail trick: I pick out a type of candy that I want to sample, bring only one piece to the cash register, place it on the counter confidently, wallet in hand. The puzzled cashier gives it to me for free, because why would she hassle with ringing up a bill for 1 cent?
Yep, it's juvenile, but it always works.
(Mathias Baden is the editor of the Jordan Independent. He can be reached at editor@jordannews.com.)