My hunt for a new cell phone begins tonight.

I blame it on my hoodie sweatshirt. It's the kind with a zipper down the front, from neck to waist, and the pockets aren't big enough.

Last weekend, I was wearing the hoodie as a jacket over my dress shirt. I had my cell phone in the righthand pocket. When I went to the restroom, I reached under my hoodie and -- bloop! -- out accidentally pops my phone and -- bang! slash! -- off the edge of the toilet bowl and in. He shoots, he scores!

While listening to Minnesota Public Radio a couple months ago, I heard about a Facebook.com group called I Text Message People While Driving And I Haven't Crashed Yet!

To be honest, I thought it was funny, so I joined. The group was as silly as the law against text messaging while driving.

Our phones are on the fritz today. Right now things seem to be working, but they’ve come and gone without warning once or twice so far today. I’m hoping it doesn’t happen again, though.

The only thing for text messaging is good is wasting my time. For 10 cents a pop, I spend too much money on worthless messages. Sometimes, I wish I never bought a cell phone.

I don’t get a lot of phone calls. There are two reasons for this, as far as I can figure: